Dear White People: Things you can do instead of cry or try to hug us. Sincerely, People of Color

Yesterday in class, the day after Trump was elected, one of my white students walked over to a Latinx student and tried to hug him. With the most dignity I have possibly witnessed in a 20-year old, he graciously declined the hug. This is a young man who has talked with me about his fear for his undocumented family members. The white girl persisted. He graciously declined. She walked away slightly confused.

Later in the day, in a text exchange with a white friend, I was admonished — in the most gentle but patronizing of ways– for my lack of tears. “How are you?” she asked. “Great!” I replied. “Educating, organizing, protesting. Surrounded by beautiful, fierce resilience and resistance.” She texted back: “You can let yourself cry. Don’t be afraid to cry.”

My response, unlike my student’s, was not the most dignified, and for that I should know better. But oh, I am so uninterested in your pity, and I really, really don’t need “comforting.” It is so disrespectful for you to pity me when you stand-by and allow racist policies to destroy the communities I care about.

By writing this essay, my goal is not to take away your feelings or shut down your voice.  My goal is to decenter whiteness at a time when whiteness has reasserted itself as the dominant paradigm. And, decentering whiteness means challenging white fragility– even among our allies.

There are reasons to cry about Trump, I get it. Many women, white women and women of color, are victims of sexual assault. I am myself a victim of sexual assault, and I know intimately that trauma does not obey my brain or surface in a logical way. Trauma sears through my body and emotions on its own timeline and surfaces when it wants. And, my LGBTQ friends are in deep mourning and fear, and for good reason. Trump’s proposed policies are directly targeting their humanity.

But. But.

Let me put on my “racial analysis hat” for a moment and clarify why people of color may not be interested in your pity, or your sad-face right now. In fact, what critical race theorists have termed “white fragility” isn’t just annoying– it is actually dangerous. I’ll highlight just one issue, but there are many.

Immigration.

I have worked in immigrant-rights now for about a decade and a half. I’ve been a teacher, teacher educator, researcher, informed policy, etc. I am not, myself, an immigrant to the U.S. I got into this work because I lived in three countries by the time I was 14 and felt a kinship to immigrant teens engaging issues of belonging, language and schooling. I felt our hearts could talk together.

Since the mid-90s, policies targeting immigrant communities in the U.S. have exploded. A system of detention centers (mirroring Japanese detainment during WW2) hold women and children (and men) without legal counsel, access to medical care, or family contact. Immigrants have died while in custody. There have been multiple hunger strikes. Women have reported being sexually assaulted by guards with no recourse. These detention centers have a bed quota– meaning, the private contractors who run them *must* fill 34,000 beds a day. Which means– private companies have financial incentives to go looking for people to put into these beds.

Enter Secure Communities, the policy enacted under Obama that puts local and state police in the horrible position of targeting their immigrant neighbors. Many municipalities have reacted against this. Police complain that since they have been positioned to enforce immigration policy, their neighbors see them as a threat and do not turn to them for help with legitimate issues in their communities out of fear that they or a family member could be detained. Forms of resistance, including something called “sanctuary cities”– municipalities where the police have elected not to racially profile and target their neighbors– have emerged democratically. Trump now threatens to end these sanctuary cities, ramp up the system of detention and deportation, and make Mexico “pay for a wall” (which doesn’t even make sense considering that many immigrants are fleeing druglords in a variety of Central American countries and aren’t even Mexican.)

I could go on and describe to you the ways in which teachers have also been mandated to target their immigrant students, the web of laws that break-up families, the backlog of immigration cases jamming up the courts which make it virtually impossible for people to “wait their turn” (fifteen years? really? to not see your child or your mother? c’mon). But I’m going to pause here and get unapologetically teacher-y on you and make a  few suggestions:

FIRST, Instead of crying or trying to hug a brown person, do your homework. Read. Get informed on the issues that are relevant to black and brown communities. Policing. Prisons and detention centers. School policies. Follow Shaun King’s twitter feed, read Black Lives’ Matters’ policy statements, attend “teach-ins”.

SECOND, Instead of crying or trying to hug a brown person, march. Find out where the local protests are and attend. Make yourself a protest quota. Attend one march per month.

THIRD, Instead of crying or trying to hug a brown person, contact a local organization that trains white people to be allies and learn how to become one. Stand Up for Racial Justice (SURJ) is one. Learn how to talk to racist Grampa Clancy this Thanksgiving.

FOURTH, Instead of crying or trying to hug a brown person, be humble. Learn why there are a slew of magazine articles and documentaries out there addressed to “dear white people.” Read with an open mind and don’t get mad or deny the existence of race. Don’t get annoyed and say– our problems are about economic class, not race. Yes, class matters. But people of lighter colored skin either directly target or are complicit in targeting people with darker colored skin.  IT IS RACIAL. When was the last time you heard about the deportation of a white Australian immigrant who overstayed his student visa? You haven’t.

FOURTH AND A HALF: How to be humble. It doesn’t take much. I have done it myself. As light-skinned biracial women I have to take my own inventory regularly to examine my complicitness and check that I am doing everything I can towards racial justice. I ask myself questions like– am I taking up too much airtime? Are there darker-skinned folks who want to speak? Am I jumping in and leading, or am I standing back and allowing others to go first? Am I acting like a know-it-all about issues that are not my lived experience? If so, when should I teach (sometimes we have to speak up), and when should I step back and listen?

Racial justice isn’t about you and your feelings so  just … be white. Heal from the shame of that, get over it, and get active. When brown and black folks get mad at you or call you out– just take it. Take a step back.

 AND FINALLY: Learn why people of color hate it when you cry. When you cry, you are shifting the focus off of the policies, events, and people who target, harm, and murder people of color– and putting the focus on you and your emotional reaction. It is at best self-centered, and at worst complicit in racism. This ain’t about you. You are not in danger. You may be uncomfortable that we have a shitty president-elect. But those two things are not same same, y’all hear me?  Being uncomfortable versus being afraid for your life or your family’s lives are two different, not equal, things. So take a moment–privately, or with your white friends (don’t make your friends of color responsible for your grief). Have your grief. I get it. But then, please stop crying. Go do your homework and learn how to be part of a resistance movement that respects people of color as human beings.

88 Comments Add yours

  1. Cendra Lynn says:

    How patronizing! Yes, I am partly white and raised as if I were all white. That part of me totally rejects what you say because you are telling me how I need to be, to act, to feel when black or brown people are targeted. No. I will choose how I react. Hugging would not be one of those ways. Crying might be, and if it were, your analysis of my tears would be so cruel. I’ve been acting against racism for longer than you’ve been alive. If you don’t like my tears, ignore them. They certainly are not pity. They’re certainly not your business.

    Quit lumping white people, or people who pass for white, into one group. Bigoted? You think? Clearly you think anyone looking to be white cannot possibly understand you. And we’re to assume you speak for all black and brown people? My appears-to-be-black daughter cried hysterically all Tuesday night. By Wed. night she was beginning to analyze the situation. She now has an action plan for herself.

    Yes, a lot of people had their denial shattered. Now they will listen when I say they are finallly seeing what I’ve been telling them for thirty years. How even in our progressive town racism is alive and well on every side. How our non-white children are always in danger.

    Until you have been bi-racial, don’t try to explain one race to another. I’ve struggled all my life to have my white part listen to my other part. Not black. Red. Up trying to stop the pipeline. Most of us killed by smallpox due to no human action. Before any white people penetrated beyond shorelines, the wild boar had contracted smallpox and spread it. Our people traded heavily all over both north and south America. Within only a few decades, 90% of our peoples were dead. My Indian side blames no one. Most of us don’t blame and don’t hold grudges. But I can’t explain this to the white parts of myself, so I certainly can’t explain it to you.

    This doesn’t mean we can’t work together. In fact, we already do and have been doing so since the first Africans arrived here as slaves. For none of my ancestors was this ever OK.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Dear Cendra: I am biracial and this was written from a biracial perspective. I, like you, have both black and white inside me. I understand this article is a challenging read, and these are challenging times. I am certainly not the expert, but I have learned a few things along the way. I also have a PhD and have been trained explicitly in racial history and racial analysis. As for “lumping white people together”– yes. I did do that. But– people who identify as white have been “lumping together” people with specific cultural histories, languages and phenotypes for centuries. Mexicans who have lived in the U.S. for generations are targeted as illegal immigrants– “lumped together.” Black people– whether or not they “feel black” or identify as black are all “lumped together” too. This plays out most viciously when black men are shot in the streets for simply being black. It is time “whites” also own up to and live up to the responsibility that their (our) white skin carries. Whites say “not me, not my president”– but a white man with an explicit racist agenda has been elected. Time to take responsibility. Very best and keep up the good fight. Christine

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mike says:

        Lol – “… yes I did lump people together … but people have been [lumping people together] for centuries.”

        Classic. And it continues.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dear Christine,

        In another comment you discuss having to assert your knowledge being trained in racial history and analysis. Communications is another field that people tend to take the knowledge of for granted. I don’t claim to be an expert in communications, but I have worked now for some time in that field. Where I work, communications outputs are time and money and in the nonprofit world, you don’t want to waste either of those things. As part and parcel to this, with everything we put out, we ask two core questions:
        -What is the aim?
        -Who is the target audience?

        These are very simple questions, everyone knows the answer to them for a piece they’ve created. However, despite this, not many people care to actually focus whatever they’ve made (written or otherwise) to actually create a piece which 1. reaches their target audience and 2. achieves the aim of the piece.

        With everything I read, especially in the light of recent political events, I ask what I think the author was trying to achieve, and with whom, and then I consider how effective it seems to be. The most important part of answering those two questions, though, is that they are not individual questions, they are inextricably linked. For example, it doesn’t matter how well written your pamphlets are if they people you hand them out to are illiterate. To bring it a bit closer to home in the more developed world, online media often have people write in a way as though they are shouting in a room full of people who were born already agreeing with them.

        And so finally getting to the point, I wonder are you, and other ‘dear white people’ authors really achieving your goals (I assume of awareness) in addressing your target audience in the way that you do? If your target audience are unaware white allies, are you actually enlightening them, or instead using language that pushes to alienate and lose them? Is this piece written so that white allies nod along and understand fully how they can do better? Or do they click away feeling that they should instead withdraw from a fight that they so clearly embarrass themselves by being in? If so many white people in the comments are offended, is this the desired outcome? And to what purpose?

        You have an important message here, and great points. But I wonder if it can really do much to reach people who weren’t already in a group that was nodding along enthusiastically from the very beginning. Maybe in the end, that wasn’t, and isn’t, really the point. Sometimes the need to express feelings is more important than the need to reach those who need the education.

        Some last thoughts:
        Can these ‘Dear White People’ pieces really ever escape the tone of condescension and derision that the title automatically imbues in them? And are they *actually* meant for a greater purpose than that? Finally, you focus on the experiences of minorities in the context of the reactions of white people. At a time when we want to de-center whiteness, as you have said, why are we again centering whiteness? Would it not serve better to center minorities, and thereby indirectly educate the unnamed allies, to just leave white people out? Or is it indeed that they need to be directly, almost personally, corrected?

        In the end I wonder, do these pieces serve to unite or to divide? Not in goal, not in thought, but in actual words. And what’s the greater effect of that?

        My aim in writing this was only that you read it and consider it. Maybe this will go right past you like I think your piece might have done with the white people targeted. If so, we’re really just talking past each other, and I wonder again, what’s the point of that?

        Liked by 2 people

      3. While I believe you have some valid points I believe the title is a response to the “safety pin” trend that seems to be taking root among those who want people of color to know “we’re with you.” I have many friends who happen to be white whose intentions are beyond reproach in my book however the reality remains that they cannot know what it is to have brown skin if they don’t already. Put in its simplest terms, all any of us are saying to our friends who are white is “you ain’t me.” While I realize such a statement can be taken as an affront at the end of the day it is a statement of fact. Most people don’t hesitate to point out that their subjective experiences in life are personal to them. It is no less true that someone who is not a member of a particular, physically identifiable group has experiences that are unique to that group (e.g. I suffer from a form of adult onset hydrocephalus) and unless one is also a member of that group such person can NOT “know” what those experiences are. The fact we can use certain descriptive terms to try and understand another’s unique experiences (anger, frustration, pain, remorse, etc…) does not mean we truly understand the other person’s actual experience. I understand that you want to ensure that the message is of a type and stated in a way that it will be more readily accepted the reality is that sometimes folks need a bit of a jolt before they’ll really start to listen and I believe the title is precisely that sort of jolt.

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      4. Heather Rose says:

        Christine-
        your thoughtful replies and interactions with each persons posted response are inspiring. I just wanted to say thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you. I appreciate the constructive advice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your open-hearted generosity.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ann Palazzo says:

    You lost me at “I also have a PhD and have been trained explicitly in racial history and racial analysis.” Keep on lumping white people together, though.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The first thing I learned in graduate school was that I would be attacked as less intelligent, less well-read, etc. etc. because I am a woman of color. This has proven itself to be true. My older white (and non-white) male colleagues with Ph.Ds rarely have to showcase their credentials when they speak on topics on which they have been trained as experts. For example, when a friend of mine who has a higher degree in Meterology speaks on wind patterns, his expertise is taken as valid. When I speak on race, racism, and immigrant education– which I have spent fifteen years studying and working in on the ground– my expertise is reduced to opinion and my thinking, my personality, my writing and my character are attacked.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Allison Schnackenberg says:

    I do appreciate the positive suggestions that you make. Thank you very much for those. We need those at a time like this. ALL of us need those suggestions at a time like this. However I really, really, really dislike the lumping of all white people together. I feel it’s divisive and counterproductive. It’s just as bad as lumping all people of any particular color, religion, race, or sexual preference together. The generalizing is what got us to where we are. It’s not color that divides us, it’s belief systems. I truly feel that the condescending tone of the “Dear White People” articles so popular at this particular moment in time will do nothing but push people back indoors. We ALL need to get off of our asses and make constructive choices for change. Not just white people. All people. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We all hate to be lumped in together, and we all want to be recognized as individuals. I have bristled for years at the condescending “what are you” questions/ you are “exotic” comments that I have gotten that reduce me and target my biracial humanity. Because of my phenotype, I do not have recourse to stop what is directed at me. White people have long been able to escape such comments. I do not want to reduce you. However, I ask that you approach the anger of people of color with humility and try to understand what we are telling you. “White people” are experiencing being “lumped together” in online articles. “Black men” experience being “lumped together” when they are shot at in the streets by cops who assume that all Black men are threatening. Being uncomfortable is not the same as being shot at and killed. Allow yourself to experience the discomfort and use it to empathize with people of color and understand a fraction of what we go through in racist Amerikka.

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      1. Allison Schnackenberg says:

        With great respect, Christine, this is not a misery competition. I agree that we all need to walk with humility. However I still believe very strongly that “Dear White People” is reinforcing the same negative behavior that anyone who chooses to act or judge based on racial profiling of people of color does. It’s ALL racial profiling. Lumping “White People” together does not fix the problem. Mocking our emotions does not bring us together. Belittling our efforts to connect (clumsy or otherwise) does not help fix the problem. CALL IN, DON’T CALL OUT.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Sorry Allison, but as the son of a white father and Mexican mother I have a view much closer to Christine’s. Racial profiling IS about lumping people together and while generalities are just that, generalities, they are not always wrong. White people ARE white and it matters in this society (and a number of other Western nations). I literally saw my father go places and receive treatment different from that I or my mom would have received. The piece does not say that all white people are the same but, rather, that being white makes you part of the largest single racial group in the US and, more importantly, the racial group that has been running things in this country since its inception. No one is saying anything about you personally however if you’re white – you’re white and the fact you want to do what’s right is admirable however the article is targeted at people who feel moved to act out of pity. Christine doesn’t need anyone’s pity nor do I. Perhaps the easiest analogy to understand is the person who is literally color blind, they cannot ever understand what people mean when trying to describe a color outside that such a person can actually see no matter how much they want to understand. The better approach is to accept one’s inability to fully understand and proceed armed with such knowledge rather than deny the existence of such inability.

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      3. I look forward to a time when no one lumps anyone together. But as one of my mentors, Danny Solorzano, used to say: “race still matters because racism matters.” When there is no racism, I will joyfully choose to be “color-blind.”

        Like

  5. mamanushka says:

    Great article. Remember ‘white’ muslims exist. ISLAM is not a religion defined by one race. So white people can also be muslim and therefore part of a marginalized community. I do appreciate your detailed article and your obvious background knowledge in all of this, just wanted to make that point.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the correction! It is important to strand out phenotype, religion and keep an eye on intersectionality. I deeply appreciate your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. michaelveloz says:

    My mom used to say “You attract more bees with honey than vinegar”. I think you have some very valid points in your text, but there seems to be an unnecessarily heavy dose of vinegar as well.

    For example, your remark that “This ain’t about you”, and that basically my reactions were probably selfish. If you want a country in which all people try to listen to, and support each other, you can’t start with the message that essentially says your reactions and thoughts are valid and mine aren’t.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. If you are white, male, documented and straight, I ask that you listen with humility to the experiences of people of color and recognize that many of the things that affect us adversely do not impact you in the same way. I do not discount that all people suffer. However, last night as I listened to my students talk about being undocumented and their fear of being deported I was reminded that Trump’s race-based policies will adversely impact people of color, particularly the undocumented.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. michaelveloz says:

        I am a white male, a gay male. Throughout my life I’ve known the fear of harm and discrimination from others, including from family, community and nation. I know the hurt of being singled out and treated as less than. This experience has lead to a lot of soul searching and I’ve learned great empathy for others who are discriminated against as well.

        You might argue that another group’s discrimination had been harder than mine in its manifestation, and you might be right in some cases.

        Nonetheless this election has shaken me to my core. I thought my days of being pushed and shoved, or spit on by passers-by in the streets, because I was going into a gay bar, were over.

        I realize now that hatred and discrimination never did really go away, for my group or for any other minority, It just smouldered in some ways, waiting for the fire to be fanned again by someone like Trump.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I definitely want to avoid “oppression Olympics”. Thank you for sharing your story. I hear your pain, and I stand with you. Please let me know of any ways that I can be of service to you and your community.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Meredith says:

      Michaelveloz,

      I just want to thank you for sharing. I see your pain and know it’s real. This is something we will continue to fight.

      The competition over who is most oppressed does sometimes seem counterproductive. That being said, in very the specific case of Donald Trump’s plans, I think we have to be especially mindful of undocumented immigrants and refugees.

      As far as the hateful action emboldened by his followers, many more are at risk. We have to fight back. We have to fight for each other. For any one, speaking for his or her minority group, to say “this is OUR fight,” or “this isn’t about you” could be alienating. I’m not so self-important that I think my help is needed most, but I sure as hell think we are stronger together.

      I don’t think it was Christine’s intent to alienate others who are affected and who aren’t POC. I simply think she was speaking up herself, for people she represents, and for those she’s worked closely with for many years. She was giving voice to her personal experiences and the experiences of some who may be more voiceless. I’m really glad you spoke up for yourself as well. This is not a time to intimidate or shame others to slink back into their protective corners. I, for instance, can’t be ashamed of my relative whiteness or that I was raised by and around many other relatively white folks or that I am in a hetero-marriage to a less white but still pretty white man. I can’t say “it’s not my fight.” And I don’t want to. This is a fight for the good of humanity. I won’t be silent, I won’t be told my voice is unimportant, and I know you won’t either. We need empathy, unity, togetherness. We need action.

      Thank you again to Christine for sharing your insights and getting others involved in this very important conversation.

      I hope it translates to the type of proactivity recommended.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. michaelveloz says:

        I couldn’t agree more. Working together is the only solution. It has always been the only solution. I know quite a few immigrants personally and I know they are not here to steal jobs, rob us, or otherwise ruin America. They are here for the opportunity to work honestly, support their families both here and back “home” and have a better life. Many of these people were born here, or have spent their entire lives here and know this country as “home”. It’s unfathomable to me that we could simply “kick them out” on political grounds. These are people we are talking about, not pesky weeds plucked from a garden.

        I agree that many of these immigrants, and certain ethnic minorities, appear to have the largest “target” on their backs, and I think they will need support the soonest.

        It’s not clear to me yet how to best help. I think that’s the feeling among many people. We feel there’s a storm coming and don’t know whether to react only once the lightening starts, or if there’s something to be done before the storm arrives.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. othaday says:

        Thank you! I agree with and share your sentiments…..

        Otha Day

        Like

    3. othaday says:

      I agree with BOTH you and Christine, actually. There has to be space for both ways of expressing our collective anger, sadness and frustration about this election.

      But I also believe we have to begin from a basic position founded in love. For ourselves and the larger “other”…..

      Be well!
      Otha Day

      Like

  7. Not sure what happened to my earlier comment however, from one “permattaned” half-breed (and yes, it’s a term I proudly use) to another – well done!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Still getting used to my new keyboard, that should have read “permatanned” but I presume you got it!

        Like

  8. Bill Flack says:

    Thank you for this.

    Like

    1. I am grateful for your readership Bill.

      Like

  9. Meredith says:

    I need to be especially accountable to this: “Am I acting like a know-it-all about issues that are not my lived experience? If so, when should I teach (sometimes we have to speak up), and when should I step back and listen?”

    As a teacher; even sometimes when I set the space for listening and allowing open shares, it’s hard not to fill the awkward silence until someone else has the courage to speak up. Alas, a stay of “awkward silence” bears the best fruit.

    Thanks for the reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have learned to ask these questions out of my own experience of failure, and the brave young people and colleagues who challenged me to be more. More anti-racist, more humble. I have to stay accountable, to hold those extra few moments, to invite people into the space to speak who may be holding back. We grow, and then we forget, and then we try again.

      Like

  10. Christine – Always amazing and poignant. Thx for the reminder to check my privilege. I’m always learning from you.

    Like

    1. Thank you for reading with an open heart. Thank you for loving me.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Erin says:

    Thank you for writing. As a white woman who has cried a fair bit – mostly alone, but sometimes not – since Tuesday, I appreciate essays like yours. I work with thousands of high school students, many of whom are in deep fear and anguish over a very uncertain future. I appreciate the bracing reminder of what is at stake for folks and how I can participate without adding my pain to theirs to manage and deal with.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your comment Erin. There are many white teachers doing incredible work in schools. I also think about how many teachers of color are being pushed out of education now through a new teacher education testing regime and policies. I encourage you to start a group of critical white allies at your school to examine hiring practices and to decenter whiteness in your school’s faculty (I am making assumptions here about where you work based on national statistics, but I know you can modify my comments to fit your local situation).

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  12. Patricia White says:

    Thank you for writing and sharing this. I think all the reactions from fellow white people who are saying “don’t lump all white people together,” are quite interesting.

    I think it’s a good lesson in being an ally to experience a moment of “Well, I’m not like that.” POC have been experiencing that feeling forever. If a white person plans to be an effective, productive, empathetic ally, that person must expose herself/himself to the feeling of being the minority in the room and being lumped with all white people. Take that discomfort and channel it into empathy!

    I want to channel my sorrow, my shame, my horror. I want to be an ally. I want to be able to acknowledge my privilege and then use it to help others. I can challenge other white people. I can create space for POC to speak. I can shut my mouth. I can listen and learn. I can look to leaders in the communities at risk.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Patricia.

      Like

  13. Thank you! This is excellent food for thought. So many of my friends and colleagues (predominantly white) have been quite emotional after the election this last week, and I have been thinking about how some of that grief and anger has been misplaced and very focused on themselves. I like how you articulate the idea of “decentering whiteness”. I’m grateful I stumbled across your blog and look forward to reading more of your thoughts. Learning how to check my privilege by developing self-awareness is a journey and the reminders are appreciated.

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    1. Thank you for your generous listening and willingness to grow as a white ally.

      Like

  14. Thank you for the article. I am curious. You say “attend protests” but I’ve read other activists and advocates say that those spaces are not really for white people. I want to support, not center or impose. Is there a good way to know which is which? Is it better to amplify from a distance and advocate when POC folks are not present and cannot advocate for themselves, or should we be attending marches and protests and just keep silent (or both!)?

    Again thank you!

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    1. Contact an organization like SURJ. Their mission is to educate white people on ways to be white allies. In my perspective (and I would get multiple, not just mine)– please, by all means march and protest. Just don’t co-opt. As a friend of mine once said about the white women who came to her African dance class (the white women stood in the front row, forcing her to the back row in her own class): “Come and dance, but don’t take over.”

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  15. ger says:

    Thank you so much for this. So many important reminders & lessons here. I appreciate your thoughtfulness & the energy you’ve put into pointing us in the right direction. I’ll be following your blog.

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  16. Not today says:

    Lotta white tears and denial on this post. ‘It’s not me! It’s not ALL of us!’ ‘Don’t lump us in with those other white people! I have Black friends:kids:a Black man!’ STFU and listen for a change. We get lumped together to whatever Black pathology is all the time. Now is your turn. Go work it out together and let us live. If you’re not part of the problem as you claim, then be a part of the solution, You’re a better woman than me, Christine. I would have said hug me, patronize me, or do anything else to deflect my pain and make it all about yours again and I will slap TF out of you. I’m sure I will become more fuzzily accommodating to your white pain eventually but you’re going to need to give me a minute.

    Like

    1. Hell yeah. I read this and took a much-needed deep breath of oxygen.

      Like

  17. Writing from Alaska says:

    I appreciate your thoughts and though I haven’t cried yet I am not sure some crying is not in order. I am distraught that I may be identified as a person separate from my community which is multiracial and my church which is predominately black. I am heavily discouraged that I must work even harder to reinforce confidence in all the children at my elementary school and fight harder to let them know they are valued and matter. They are in a Title 1 school listed among the most diverse in the nation. In their world there has only been a black president. Even the younger ones in 1st and 2nd grades are aware of some of the things Trump has said and what it might mean for them. Some of our families and some of my friends and coworkers are immigrants and refugees. They know his rhetoric can lead to a changed America. It is not theoretical for them They have seen the impact of hate and some are triggered by current events and reexperiencing anxieties they thought were in the past.
    Where my comfort level has been higher among POC, now I sense that the ranks may close and I may see a diminishment of those connections which are myvworld and which enrich my life. We will have to fight even harder to stand in the gap.
    Not crying yet but my heart is grieved.

    Like

  18. oj27 says:

    Thank you for writing this. I do have one question though: I’ve spent some time reaching out to my friends of color recently to ask if they need anything. My skills really don’t lie in organizing or marching (I have autism), and I’m actually much better at emotional support. Do you think there’s a role for “hugging” your friends? Obviously in this situation your student didn’t want that support, but is there a place in being an ally for providing emotional support? I’m thinking more concrete things than just a hug, like bringing over meals for anyone who is in the grieving process, or letting friends know that they can vent or talk or say whatever they need to without judgment. I’m worried we’re erasing the emotional labor that allies can and should be doing when we say that we just need direct action.

    Like

    1. I think you are doing the exact right thing, and that is– asking what is needed, listening deeply, and staying open to being supportive in whatever way is asked of you right now.

      Like

  19. laurenweav says:

    I cried on the subway the day after the election. I am white, but I’m also the disabled daughter of lesbian parents. I appreciate the sentiment behind this article, but intersectionality means looking at ways marginalized groups may be affected and oppressed in ways that are invisible to you. Donald Trump humiliated me and people like me when he mocked a disabled reporter. He held his hand just the way I have for every day of my life. And he got away with it. My basic dignity and value as an individual was called into question and cast aside. So yes, I will allow myself to cry on this one. In solidarity with my brown, immigrant, Muslim, LGBTQ sisters and brothers who are oppressed in many more public ways than I ever will be. I understand that it doesn’t stop there and I’m getting organized to fight. But I’m allowed to grieve.

    Like

    1. I don’t have the life experience of being disabled. I deeply appreciate your voice and perspective, and for teaching me something new about intersectionality. As for grief– in the article I don’t say don’t have grief. I am also grieving my own history of sexual trauma. My point is that white people not make people of color responsible for white grief.

      Like

      1. laurenweav says:

        I get that. I work in immigration law and there are a lot of economically secure, well-meaning white people who are disappointed, but aren’t having that much difficulty moving on with their lives already. My only suggestion is that maybe we as the left target our frustration at those who don’t have much skin in the game? Here’s an article that I think expresses this quite well: http://www.gq.com/story/damon-young-the-good-white-people

        I’m more than happy to check my privilege as a white person and examine how I react to events/policies that primarily affect people of color. However, as a woman who silmutaneosly contains multiple identities and accompanying insecurities (daughter of LGBT parents and afraid for the future of my family, woman concerned that my sex will continue to be second class citizens and targets of misogyny/violence/sexual assault, child raised for quite some time in poverty and worried that future generations won’t be afforded the same opportunities to escape as I was), I think we need to acknowledge the broad-reaching damage this administration will wreak, that this doesn’t just hurt one oppressed demographic, it hurts us all.

        There are many reasons to be crying right now. I don’t think we should shame people for an emotional display of sadness right now. In doing so, we risk breeding resentment and infighting with the very people who are sympathetic to our cause and we ignore/minimize the very real danger they face in their own lives. Now is the time together and fight the real enemy at hand, not lash out at the ones trying to empathize.

        Thank you for your post and for suggesting concrete mechanisms for action. I hope we can continue to work together to find a meaningful way forward.

        Like

  20. Brook says:

    Thank you for this post and for your very thoughtful responses to the comments. Not everyone would be willing to do this educational work with good reason.

    Like

  21. Annette S says:

    Thanks, Christine, for the words, which come across as provocation for many. What you say is not always easy to digest but that might be exactly the point. I am not reading it as divisive rhetoric but as a necessary comment to burst bubbles. A lot of the good white people are in shock, and the psyche will need to take its time to relax a bit and open up. But it is (beyond) time to be candid, time to look reality in the face. I am speaking as a white German immigrant to this country, who has always had a very hard time with most Americans’ fear of disagreement. It breeds denial, which is particularly dangerous right now.
    So, good white people, listen, feel where the discomfort is. Work from there.
    Love to all!

    Like

    1. Thank you for your willingness to listen deeply and without defensiveness, Annette. I appreciate your generosity.

      Like

      1. Annette S says:

        I forgot: I so appreciate your patience in the midst of this violent mess. it is beautiful. and I can only imagine how difficult it is not to lose it. thanks.

        Like

  22. One thing that seems to be coming out in the comments is that “melanin deficient” individuals feel they are being painted as “bad” because they happen to be white. That is simply not the case. No person of color wants you running around apologizing for being white, it’s a matter of genetics and happenstance. The reality of it has often been demonstrated to me by people who knew my father and tell me I look nothing like him when, in fact, my bone structure very closely resembles his. My brown skin, dark hair and brown eyes differ from his pale skin, light hair and sky blue eyes however that really is the extent of the difference. Being white and a beneficiary of that fact because of the focus of this nation since its birth is not something most people think about which means they really don’t see it since it’s the only thing they’ve ever known. When someone who is “melanin rich” says we don’t need your pity that’s what we mean. No doubt such folks do mean well however pity may well be the purest form of racism that exists. It objectifies the subject of one’s pity and inherently presumes the person who feels pity is superior to the other. A rich man who pities a poor man is basically saying “I feel sorry for you because you’re not like me.” feeling pity for someone because of the trials they’ve faced owing to their color or race, when you’re someone who is a part of the majority group responsible for their oppression and suffering is also saying “I feel sorry for you because you’re not like me.” Trust me, we KNOW we’re not like you.

    Like

  23. Jonny Gray says:

    I appreciate this essay and find the recommendations at the end both confirming and good reminders.

    As a white queer person, I am not sure I don’t feel vulnerable and afraid by President-elect Trump, though. That is, he isn’t just a shitty president for me. He and particularly his running mate threaten my life and my family.

    I have been working hard these last few decades to embrace and understand intersectionality. I try to use my queer subjectivity to understand other forms of oppression, even while constantly checking myself at the limits of that ability to transpose. I have also educated myself by reading and listening to women, trans, immigrants, POCs and QTPOCs. I will never be done with this work; it is ongoing.

    As a queer man, mostly cis-passing but self identifying as genderqueer, I know that my white skin gives me a lot of privilege in this culture. I also know that the toxic str8 masculinity of this culture would prefer that I downplay any inclination toward excessive affect or empathy. My queer body has learned that emotional intelligence is a revolutionary act. What I won’t do is cry for someone else or hug them if I see that it is not welcome; I won’t confuse my emotional needs with (unwlecomed) empathy. But I disagree that emotional responses only make the situation about me. We get to be afraid. We get to be angry, too. We get to have responses to the world around us. All of us. Indeed, imagining that persuasion happens without (e)motivation or that activism isn’t sustained by a fire in the belly is to hobble our best efforts at transformation before we ever really begin.

    The problem you address is real. The answer is, perhaps, more complicated than you are able to explore here. But at the end of the day (month, year, decade), I am marching down the streets, talking on the radio, canvassing neighborhoods, and teaching my students that blacklivesmatter and brownlivesmatter and immigrantsmatter and womenmatter and any queer worth the name is fighting for all of them, not because we hope/demand they do the same in return, but because this is the only way we make this culture a better place for us all.

    Like

  24. Jaime Grant says:

    Christine! This is brilliant, well thought. Lots of great suggestions. It’s appropriate to lump all white people together — we all benefit from white supremacy, whether we want to or not. Let’s DO MORE my white brothers and sisters. The time for parsing and critiquing the work of women of color is over — it’s time to step up.

    Like

  25. Mani says:

    I haven’t had time to go over all the comments but I’m in a bit of a hurry so I’ll try to say my piece and peace out quickly. I don’t normally chime in on these sorts of conversations because I feel that it’s mostly people on polar sides who decide to comment and there’s no point (in my opinion) trying to sway or communicate really with people with such extreme views on things.
    Few points I’d like to make:
    1) from the comments that I’ve read, the underlying tones from the opposing views to this article seem to be what I define as “undercovers”. These are people who mascarade as compassionate allies with humane morals, but are really deep down very comfortable using their privilege status to get ahead in life. They don’t truly want or believe in equality, but they pretend to for the sake of not rubbing anyone the wrong way and to make themselves feel better about themselves. These are the same people who cry to shift focus to themselves, and they’re the same people who do not act or stand up when the situation requires them to for the sake of equality.
    2) There seems to be a misunderstanding regarding what these “dear white people” articles. As far as I’m concerned, the articles are not really meant to sway white people over to join us (yes, I’m black). In fact, they’re sort of meant to do the opposite. The aim (for anyone who isn’t clear) is to state the facts, express our perspective, and call white people out on their role in everything that is happening/has been happening for centuries now.
    3) How you react to these articles (or letters rather), depends on whether you are genuinely a humane individual who is capable of understanding the oppressed perspective, or an undercover. If your reaction was to push back and CONTINUE living in denial, then you’re an undercover. If you are reading the articles and understanding + truly taking what we’re saying in + putting them into motion…well then, on behalf of all who are oppressed in these sorts of situations, I applaud you, and welcome you to join the movement for equality.
    4) Finally, I’m honestly disappointed that in this day and age…in 2016, people in the US still use the term “people of color” to describe ‘minorities’ (or preferably, non-whites). It may seem minor, but terminology impacts everything that we do, think and feel. It seriously baffles me that this term is still floating around when it specifically originated back in the day just a bit post-slavery. Black people (and others if you will allow me to address you as a black person), track back to your history, rediscover yourselves and start addressing, treating, loving, respecting yourselves in a manner that truly represents who you are. Set the tone for how you want others to address, treat, love, and respect you. Only then will we as a race be free.

    Like

    1. Jackie says:

      I respect your comment and agree with everything else you wrote. However I would like to point out that “people of color” is different from the phrase “colored people”. “Colored people” is yes, offensive, outdated way to refer to black people specifically. People of color is a newer term which refers to multiple marginalized groups, not just black people. It can also include Native Americans, Hispanic people, and Asian people. I first heard the term “people of color” from, well, a person of color who stated that they preferred the term. In a very diverse facebook group I’m in, which is dedicated in part to social justice, it became the preferred term over the past year or so. I waited until I saw the term used by multiple non white people, before I began using the phrase myself. As a white woman, I always follow the lead of non white people in terms of which terminology is best. This is the first time I’ve heard anyone call the phrase offensive. But, my mind is open. If I am wrong about this, and people find it offensive, I will stop using it and gladly. Peace to you.

      Like

  26. Wester says:

    Shaun K is in the middle of a flame out. He has no idea what he is doing. He’s into racism porn, and has doubled down on identity politics. Whinging and trying to shame people into turning back the clock 5 or 7 years when we still had a cool black president and completely ineffectual AGs with pretty faces who did absolutely nothing except provide good TV while conspicuously NOT prosecuting any single corrupt, murderous, racist, genocidal police department in the entire country. To whit, my friend, this is madness.

    King and you and a lot of other people need to get off this shaming racist trip and look up how exactly Nazis, and Fascists, and the KKK, and White Nationalists, and Anti-Semites, and the Alt.Right, which King and a whole bunch of other people are saying are now rampaging through the streets and making everyone afraid – If that stuff is real, as King and so many others are doing, then you stop oiling the depends, and read up on what exactly Robert F. Williams did. What the Lyons County self defense organization did, what Stokely did. What James Foreman and SNCC did. This endless whinging and lamentation on OWS Obama Withdrawl Syndrome is doing nobody any good. And is in danger of splitting the BLM coalition down the middle. Turning off actual real white allies and others, with scars to show in the struggle, and opening yourself up to getting marked and pwned.

    Stop being a drama queen. If these are Nazis, fight them like they are Nazis. There’s documentation on that, and a clear historical record. You can follow that example instead of trying to slut shame everyone into playing Sancho Panza.

    Like

  27. Ed says:

    Such a bunch of whiny snowflakes on here. This concern with white people being ‘lumped together’ is the height of narcissism. The meaning is quite clear – what links white people together is the fact that, despite their attitudes to race, they’re privileged over and above minorities. It’s this privilege that can hamper serious efforts amongst whites to tackle persecution of minorities, and part of that, as the writer cogently argues, concerns how certain gestures of solidarity and efforts to be seen as on the side of POC, often serves not only to obscure the laziness of whites to actually organize against oppression, but provides them a superficial, false and self serving sense of being on the side of the angels. This is a real phenomena, and as a white male, I try to remain vigilant to the ways in which my expressions of concern for those persecuted can offer a sly ‘best of both worlds’ prop to my privilege and ego e.g. not only am I a white male, but I’m also one of the GOOD white males. Learning humility is crucial for white people, especially white men, to help effectively in tackling oppression, given they are in many ways the beneficiaries of that oppression.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ed says:

      Edit: meant ‘regardless’ rather than ‘despite’ in the third sentence.

      Like

      1. I don’t think most folks understand what white privilege is. My Irish-American father did because he saw, first hand, that he could do things that his dark-skinned, Mexican-American wife could not. People tend to think privilege is somehow akin to “free stuff,” when, in fact, it’s about freedom from certain realities that brown people live with daily. It’s about not being questioned by the police while you’re walking down the street (which I’ve personally experienced), no one presuming you’re dishonest or a thief (which I’ve both experienced and seen my wife experience), not being called all sorts of derogatory terms, being told to go back where we belong (even though my mother’s family has been in CA since the late 1700s) and so on. Freedom from negatives based solely on one’s pigmentation is most certainly a privilege but far too many white people don’t acknowledge this and, instead, assert they are not privileged because they are not wealthy. Indeed a narcissistic viewpoint as you mentioned.

        Like

  28. Betty says:

    Have done 1-4.5 on your list for years. Agree with everything you said. Very important message.

    But don’t tell me not to cry. I’m a human being with human emotions and this election made me sad and angry for the future of this country. It’s not about it. It’s called empathy. If the tears flow, I’m letting them flow.

    Like

  29. Betty says:

    I have done 1-4.5 on your list over the course of many years. I agree with 99% of your points and this is an important read.

    Don’t tell me not to cry. I am a human being with human emotions. This election made me sad and angry about the future of this country. I have friends and family who are now in danger. It’s not about me. It’s called empathy. If the tears start flowing, I’m letting them flow.

    Like

  30. Jesse L says:

    I am a straight white guy am fucking pissed. Not at you, this well written article, or the message of the article(which I like and agree with). I’m fucking pissed at white people, like what the fuck??!!!???? It’s hard for me to grasp why people wouldn vote for a man who’s campaign was consistently racist, sexist, and homophobic. I’ve already participated in a peaceful demonstration against hate in my town but I was wondering if starting a punk band is appropriate. Because although the demonstrations are important and I’ll continue them, they don’t get out my frustration with my own race. Like seriously what the fuck white people.

    Like

  31. Amanda Hicks says:

    I truly appreciate your words and perspective, Dr. Malbry. As a white ally I promise to: 1. Listen. 2. Act. 3. Educate myself- people of color are not my “teachable moment” 4. Step aside to make more space for you.

    I also promise that I will make mistakes, and that I am complicit in racism in ways I don’t yet see- and when it’s pointed out to me, I promise to change.

    Like

  32. rain crowe says:

    Thanks for this. I’m tracking the white fragility in the room. As I see it, whiteness isn’t a biology or a ethnicity, right, it is a cultural-linguistic construct used to divide people of lesser economic privilege from banding together and fighting the elites for the basic ability to live well. Whiteness is also an erasure of true ancestry- we all come from a place, from a people or peoples. Frankly I don’t understand the upset about being lumped into whiteness, it is a suitable category of identity which speaks to the kinds of privileges accorded it. Am I different than other white people for any number of reasons, of course. Am I a benefactor of the unearned powers and protections relegated through structural racism as a white person, of course. I hear ya. I’m also not crying. I’m organizing like hell and creating learning containers for other white folk to work through the shame and fragility so we can show up for duty as the shit is getting more and more real. Hope you keep writing.

    Like

  33. Chris Harrison says:

    Dear Christine,

    You say, “Being uncomfortable versus being afraid for your life or your family’s lives are two different, not equal, things. ”

    I would add, just because I appear white (like, really white), don’t assume my family is safe. As you know, bi-racial comes in all shades, and in-laws can be all races, and we are family and love each other, and I’m scared to death for them. Don’t assume I’m just “uncomfortable.”

    Like

    1. That is so true. As a very white looking biracial person myself, I get that.

      Like

  34. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you so much for all of your posts Christine. I am constantly trying to use the privileges I have been given for good. It is always hard to swallow information that at first you feel, “but I’m trying.” But it is something we need to keep hearing to remind ourselves not to become complacent.

    I do have one comment? Not sure exactly what to call it. I am a military spouse. At times it is difficult to juggle in the how to best help. I know I have to use my privilege for good and I try not to outwardly project my fears/concerns because so many people in this country have much greater fears right now. With the current political climate I do fear for what could happen to our military now and in the future (I do know this was something I, in a way, signed up for). Similarly, protesting isn’t always something that with a family one can help with, especially if one person is away. Are there sites/information you would recommend with others ways to support? (places to donate to?)

    The best part of your post is your comments and responses to everyone. While some my say the tone of the initial piece was aggressive (I am not one of those people) you display true kindness, integrity, compassion, and intelligence in each and every comment you have written.

    Like

    1. You are welcome Elizabeth. I would donate to the ACLU as far as large scale organizations, and also donate to anyone doing work to support undocumented folks as they are so horribly under attack right now. That would include lawyers, translators, and also orgs like No Mas Muertes who go out into the deserts to look for and bring food/ water to migrants during the summer months when temperatures rise to murderous results. Also, I would send money to orgs trying to stop policies like *stop and frisk* and create alternatives to prisons.

      Like

  35. mae says:

    It’s possible I don’t completely understand or I missed something in your words. I am a Queer, Jewish woman, with a multi-racial and many gendered family. I am crying and I don’t know if I’m going to stop. I’m not crying in pity, I am afraid for myself, I am terrified for my young brown nephews. My friends are already being harassed and I live in one of the most liberal progressive areas in the world. I am worried about concentrations camps, I’m wondering if the Jews need to run again. I am at a loss.

    Thank you for all of your suggestions. It is helpful to have some concrete ideas and actions to take, some structure to lean on.

    I am not going to stop hugging brown people, but I mean this in the context of relationship, my friends, my family, my nephews, and I may cry with some or all of them from my own fear and with empathy for theirs. Will I be assaulted, harassed, murdered for my ethnicity, religious beliefs, the people I love, for protecting my family? Will the transgender queer brown and beautiful people in my family in my life be allowed to live love flourish?

    I just found myself so worked up after reading this that I wanted to write something. I am doing my best to be humble and supportive and I don’t always get it right. I know I grew up with undeniable privilege of being white, being Jewish wasn’t much of a handicap in my neighborhood and, well, I can hide my bi-sexuality if I need to. I want to stretch and grow, learn how to be a better ally AND at the same time I am still afraid for my safety and freedom AND I am afraid for the safety and freedom of my family and my friends.

    Like

    1. Thanks for your response. The point is not to police your emotions, but to suggest that you not make POC responsible for your emotions if possible. I witness and affirm your tears.

      Like

  36. Kat Thompson says:

    HOLY TONE POLICING BATMAN! If a white person wanted to be an ally, they should be able to handle this gentle and helpful article. If you are a white person who’s feels got hurt by this article, that is ok. Go home and hug yourself. When you are feeling better try again. If you are really an ally you don’t need to be coddled, right?

    Like

  37. Molly says:

    I’m not the eloquent writer, so many are here, or have the experiences, and this is not sarcastic… but here is my question, or request for clarification: As a very white/Euro descent, I was lucky enough to have a mother who asked her children to celebrate differences and be joyful of our (the world) distinctions, as though in the presence of a beautiful painting, or wonderful book (she was a librarian). So I was thinking… as some progressive defiance was helped when other than women stepped in, or other than children called out, or when white women supported women of color, I wonder how I could physically shield or support people, now at risk, in my town? I liked the suggestion that if millions (which isn’t that many) blurred the lines, when that is possible, it would confuse the aggressor. Like registering as a Muslin, when you’re not. Or wearing a hijab, or?
    I guess white people are limited to blend, but what about shielding/deflecting? Would it be an insult if I wore a hijab to deflect and confuse an aggressor? Or to say to a bigot, I may look white, but I am Hispanic, or my ancestors, my grandmother was, er something (other than white). “Don’t assume I’m “white”, you don’t know who I am.” Is that disrespectful?
    When my youngest went to school I told him he was black, Jewish, Native American and Irish, my idea was he wouldn’t participate in any hatefulness towards his own people. He did use it to stop ‘wrong-hateful’ conversations. But I forgot to undo it, and he actually grew up thinking he was all those things. He still stands up for his “made up background”. He is an amazing balanced young man.
    So straighten me out. I will take it as a schooling, and use it to be as conscientious as one can be amongst us very diverse thinkers. Would temporarily blurring any lines you can… help? Or is it an insult?

    Like

    1. I appreciate your sentiment, but I think wearing a hijab runs the risk of cultural appropriation. I would suggest asking local activists where your help is most needed and follow their guidance. Often folks need resources: people who can do graphic design, print flyers, etc. etc. Mundane but necessary parts of resistance. Thanks for being willing to show up to a hard conversation and provide support.

      Like

  38. Will says:

    I cry about this because of empathy, because while as a white man things aren’t really ever going to change for me, I don’t care about myself and worry more about the world as a whole. I really liked your article and think you raise some really good points, and your anecdotal experiences sound really frustrating and shit. Trump’s victory is largely due to racism and sexism, but they are not the only reasons I cry for, nor do I think that everyone that voted for Trump is a racist and a sexist. The only thing I didn’t like about your article was the fact you said people hated me being emotional which seems like a natural thing I can’t help, and I don’t think this is a time for any more hate. I might have misread it though, and probably got the wrong end of the stick and am happy for you to explain why I am wrong. It seems the main point of your article is that I am ignorant so I would welcome education x

    Like

    1. Thank you for your willingness to learn. The point of the article was not NOT cry–its– don’t make POC responsible for white tears. Here are some resources:
      Google:
      1) Unpacking the Invisible Backpack
      2) Explaining White Privilege to a Broke White Person
      3) Curriculum for White Americans to Educate Themselves on Race and Racism

      Read:
      4) Black Skins, White Masks by Frantz Fanon
      5) Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Tatum

      Like

  39. robert walbridge says:

    “This ain’t about you. You are not in danger”

    Oh but here you could not be more wrong. White americans are far more likely to be the victims of black violence than the perpetrators of said violence.

    In 2013 of 660,000 interracial violent crimes, 85% were committed by blacks. Whites were 27 times more likely to be the victims of a violent attack by a black perpetrator as the opposite.

    Whites are also more likely to be the victims of deadly police encounters when adjusted for the incidence of crime by race.

    All white parents must have the “talk” with their children about the inherent danger that their “whiteness” places them in.

    So please Ms Malsbary, be a good ally. Learn to speak only after white americans have had their say and try to educate your fellow People of Color about their huge problem with violence.

    Been Woke,
    Rob Walbridge

    Like

    1. Oh wow, where to start with this. Oh– I know. I’m not going to.
      It’s Dr. Malsbary, by the way. Wonder if you would have made that mistake if I had been a male writer. Probably not.

      Like

      1. robert walbridge says:

        Well Dr. Malsbary as a proud second wave feminist I assure you the omission of the proper honorific was a mere oversight. I offer a genuine apology.

        As far as where to begin, how about open and honest debate without sacred cows and smug moral vanity.

        I give you credit though, unlike most race hustlers you allowed publication of my letter and offered a response(well sort of).

        Rob Walbridge

        Like

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